Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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