enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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