Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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