I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
