It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Michael Bay diarrhea
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
