You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
