I'm going to jail i love you
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
