Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
