we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize