its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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