Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
