Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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