When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
