i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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