all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
