he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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