he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
