If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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