Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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