it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize