I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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