Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
