he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
