I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
We got so high we made milksteak
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
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