im gay
i know
yea but for you.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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