what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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