I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
