I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
