Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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