Buhtt sex?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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