it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
