Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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