my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
