No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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