We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
whose parrot is this?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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