Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
