so explain again why im purple
no
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
