When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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