Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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