just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
