grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
