Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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