I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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