my mouth tastes like poor choices
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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