i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize