i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
