My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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