Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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