My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize