Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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