never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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