We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
