Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
