Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Randomize
