dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
