they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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