I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
