Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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