the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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