3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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