YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
