My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
