fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
