I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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