I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize