So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
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threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
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All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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