try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Randomize
